Let Me Help You
by RosalindHawkins
Summary: Joey struggles to survive and sinks into despair. One day when Seto steps in to lend a hand. As Joey recovers, he learns that the darkness in Seto's heart is far greater than he would have guessed. Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler/Jounouchi Katsuya. KaiJou/Puppyshipping: angst, self harm, abuse, anorexia, depression, suicidal ideation, smut.
1. Help

How had things gotten this bad? Joey didn't even know anymore. His father was always blowing all the money he could manage to steal from his son on beer and drugs. Meanwhile, Joey struggled just to hold his life together between high school, two part-time jobs, and paying the rent his father never bothered to worry about. When Mr. Wheeler was drunk or high, he often went into fits of irrational rage, which were always taken out against his teenage son. It had been going on for so long that Joey was just grateful his father hadn't yet tried to pimp his son for more money. At least, he hadn't yet tried with any degree of success.

Joey was always careful to hide his bruises from his friends and everyone else at school, but it was even harder to hide his developing anorexia. It had started because he simply couldn't afford to feed himself properly; he was behind on rent, and his father kept uncovering each new hiding place Joey thought of for stashing the rent money. Eventually, all of the verbal abuse thrown at him during his father's drunken violence began to sink in. He _was_ worthless. He didn't _deserve_ to eat. On the bright side, all of the money that he didn't use for food was helping him to catch up on rent.

All he ever consumed at school was either water or soda, and maybe the occasional bag of chips, when he thought his friends were starting to get suspicious. His anorexia had gone on for a few months now, he was thoroughly emaciated, and it had been a few days since he'd eaten anything solid. Tristan had bought an extra chocolate bar from the vending machine and offered it to Joey, who'd found himself unable to turn down the offer from his long-time best friend. Joey thought he'd be fine with eating it, but it ended up making him feel so sick that he went to the bathroom after third period to throw up. When he'd finished emptying his stomach, he was having a hard time supporting himself. He tried to stand upright, but his vision filled with stars. He passed out as he was exiting the bathroom stall, and who should find him but Mr. Moneybags himself?

It had taken only a few minutes for Seto to get a pretty good idea of what-all was going on in Joey's life. And what did he do? Well, he hadn't taken Joey to the school nurse, like any normal person would have done. Instead, he'd helped a half-conscious Wheeler stumble out of the bathroom and out of the building, getting him into the back of Kaiba's limo before joining him on the opposite seat and telling the driver to start taking the long way towards his mansion. Then he'd waited for Wheeler to regain full consciousness.

"Kaiba, wha-?" Joey eyed the limo's interior with confusion and suspicion only to let out a grunt as Kaiba tossed him a bottle of water. He shot his arch-rival a glare as he unscrewed the top and started to gulp the water to remove the taste of bile.

"Alright, Wheeler, I know you're in trouble, so don't even try to lie to me about it. Let me guess, you haven't told your friends because you don't want them to worry about you and you're too proud to ask for help?"

"What exactly is it that you think you know, Kaiba?" Joey growled, wondering if he could manage to bluff his way out of this.

"You're emaciated, anorexic, covered in bruises, and, quite frankly, lucky to be alive," he stated as he considered the blonde with cold blue eyes.

"Shut up, Kaiba!" Joey snapped indignantly, flushing as he felt vaguely violated. How else could Kaiba have known all that without at least lifting his shirt? That arrogant, overbearing jerk. "What's it to you, anyways?"

"Does it even matter at this point?" the CEO retorted. "I'm giving you two options Wheeler: you either tell me what's going on and let me help you, or I can check you in at the hospital and call Yugi to tell him where you are. It's your choice." He sat back nonchalantly and crossed his arms, smirking. Either way, Joey would get the help he needed, which was Kaiba's sole objective in all of this.

Joey was furious to find himself at the billionaire's mercy, furious with himself for getting found out, furious that it had to be his rival who found him. "And what's in it for you, Moneybags?" Joey shot back. He was behaving like a wounded animal backed into a corner; he felt scared and threatened, so he was lashing out at his rescuer aggressively as a means of self-defense.

"What, I'm not allowed to do an act of charity that doesn't directly benefit me?" Kaiba scoffed. "You have such a low view of me. Even so, you're in no place to reject _my_ help. Just look at yourself. You can hardly stand on your own, you're starved near to the point of death, and I'd bet good money that you have at least two broken ribs."

His condescending tone made Joey's skin itch. He would have loved to wipe the smug look off of his face, but it took all of his energy just to stay upright and conscious. His face became livid, his own anger riled. He inhaled deeply, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest, and shouted, "Don't act so high and mighty wit' me, Kaiba! You're one to talk, wit' your turtlenecks and your fancy arm-guards. Who's ta say that you ain't hidin' somethin'?" Joey's face twisted in pain as he slumped back against the seat, hugging his ribs as he gasped and panted for air.

Kaiba's jaw clenched, his sapphire eyes smoldering with fury but he kept his mouth shut, glaring at the world that passed outside the tinted windows for a few minutes. "Gozaburo was a hard man to please," Seto muttered, surprising Joey with a flash of near-vulnerability he'd never seen in his classmate before. "Not even Mokuba knows how much of a monster he truly was." As Joey stared at him in shock, Seto turned to face him again, wearing an expression that seemed to convey that he understood Joey's present predicament far more than he'd ever admit in words. Then his gaze hardened, and he added, "Now make your decision: my help or the hospital?"

"I can't let Yugi know," Joey said finally, eyes downcast. He couldn't burden his friend like that; Yugi was so good-hearted that he would blame himself, and Tristan would too, since he'd been the only one to know that Joey's father was not a good man.

"My place it is then," Kaiba gave the driver instructions to go straight for his home, then turned back to his passenger. "The KaibaCorp medics will take care of you when we get there. I have to get back to the office because something's come up. Once the medics have examined you and we know what-all is wrong, we can hash out a deal. I won't stop you from going to school, but I won't let you go back to that cesspool you call home. I can offer you a job in my household with room and board included, and with pay and conditions better than what you've got at whatever crappy jobs you're working now. Like I said, we'll figure out the details when I get home from work, but that's something for you to consider. In the meantime, you should probably call one of your friends and tell them that you felt ill, so you went home early. That way they won't worry about you."

Joey just nodded, still puzzling over Seto's words in his mind. What had Gozaburo done to his eldest step-son that made Seto hate him so much? _Not even Mokuba knows how much of a monster he truly was_ … What manner of monster _was_ Gozaburo Kaiba? He doubted that Seto would tell him if he asked. Besides, the pain in his ribs took precedence in his mind at the moment.

"Sit up straight, Wheeler," Seto snapped, eyes glued to his smartphone as he frowned over an email from one of his employees. "Slouching makes it worse."

Joey huffed in exasperation, but straightened up just the same, surprised when it did indeed make his breathing less pained. He glared at Kaiba through narrowed eyes. How had he known? The more he thought about it, the more questions he had, and the more he realized how little he truly knew about the successful young president of KaibaCorp.

When they dropped Joey off at the Kaiba estate, the doctors were astonished at Joey's state: severely underweight at 97 pounds, two broken ribs, almost too weak to stand, and bruised so badly the contusions easily covered a third of his body. They gave him painkillers and a salve to speed the healing of his bruises, then put him to bed in a guest room and brought him whatever food he requested: New York pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and a chocolate milkshake. They cautioned him to eat slowly, lest he make himself sick. Again. Joey was slow in eating, still working past the psychological blocks that had prevented him from eating even when he was able to. It was strange going from having no food at all to having as much as he could ask for.

He still struggled to understand Kaiba's motivation for helping him, but if he was honest with himself, he had to agree with Kaiba: he was truly in no place to refuse his charity.


	2. Lifeline

**Author Notes:** I have been enjoying writing this fic so far. For once, I feel like I'm neither rushing nor forcing the romance. Joey does something very clever and sneaky in this chapter. I'm so proud of him for it! :P Please enjoy and review!

* * *

Two months later, Joey was in a much better place, physically, psychologically, and emotionally. He worked for Kaiba as one of the mansion's groundskeepers, he was able to focus on classes and bring up his grades (much to the surprise of all his teachers), and he could stop distancing himself from his friends. Yugi was especially pleased to see his good friend acting more like himself again. He'd reached a stable place where he finally felt confident and comfortable enough to confront Kaiba.

Late one evening as they passed in the hallway, Joey'd spoken up, trying to probe him for more information on his step-father. His host had tried to walk away, but Joey had tackled him, and the two had wrestled on the floor as they vied for dominance. It wasn't truly violent, for neither punched the other or fought dirty, and that in itself spoke well of both of them. Seto didn't wish to injure Joey after investing so much in his recovery. Joey didn't wish to injure Seto after all he'd done for him. Both of them were panting by the time Joey got Seto pinned to the floor. They glared at each other in irritation, but without true animosity.

"Kaiba, what did you mean when you said that Gozaburo was a hard man to please?" Joey demanded not for the first time during this encounter. After a few moments of silent glaring, Seto finally spoke.

"Fathers can be abusive no matter how much money they have," was his indirect answer, his eyes staring at a point over Joey's shoulder.

"Your ol' man hit you too, huh?" Joey asked softly, somewhat loosening his grip on Seto. His impression of the CEO was beginning to change.

" _Step-_ father," Seto corrected with a scowl. "And worse."

"Whatya mean?" Joey's persistence was part of his personality and at the moment, it was a trait that Seto resented. He attempted to shove Wheeler off, but Joey stubbornly held his ground, keeping the brunette fixed between him and the floor. In truth, Seto could think of more than one way to free himself from the blond teen, but there was a part of him that was tired of keeping his childhood a secret. He freed one hand from Joey's grip and pulled down the high collar of his turtleneck to reveal the odd, discolored scars on his neck. Joey puzzled over them for the few moments they were visible before Kaiba covered them again and shoved Joey off. He stood and walked away, leaving Joey with more questions than answers. It was becoming a habit for him.

A few days after their confrontation, Joey found himself knocking on the door of Seto's home office. It was late Friday evening, but the young CEO was hard at work, refusing to rest when he insisted that there was so much to be done. Joey heard Kaiba call for him to enter, and he did so, closing the door behind him and walking right up to the brunette seated at his desk, stopping only once he was a mere few feet away from him.

"What do you want, Wheeler?" he demanded without looking up from his computer screen.

"I want to talk to you about Gozaburo."

"Get out," he snapped immediately, but Joey had noticed how Kaiba's fingers fumbled across the keyboard as he mentioned his step-father's name and decided to continue with his little campaign. Joey took another step and seated himself on the edge of the large mahogany desk next to the computer and almost directly in front of a now-flustered Kaiba.

"What are you doing? Get off. Desks aren't meant for sitting on." Kaiba was trying to stay focused on his work, but Joey was making it considerably more difficult the longer he stayed.

"What did he do to your neck?" Joey reached out a hand with the intention of pulling down the high collar of the other's turtleneck, but Seto grabbed his wrist before it got too close. Quick as lightning, Joey used his free hand to pull down Seto's sleeve. He made a sound as if he'd been burned as he snatched his arm away and held it against his chest, but Joey had still seen the scars and cuts on Seto's wrist. Some of them were far too recent for Joey's liking.

Seto's blue eyes blazed with anger and something deeper: betrayal. This surprised Joey as much as it made him cringe with guilt. He hadn't thought that he had the power to hurt Kaiba, and the grudging affection he harbored for the billionaire made him feel the other's pain.

"I want to help, Kaiba," he said candidly, lowering his hands to the edge of the desk. "You've helped me a lot, and I want to return the favor."

"I don't need help," Seto growled as he pulled his sleeve down, pushed his chair away from the desk, and stood, walking away, his back turned on the teen.

"I think you need help admitting you need help," Joey remarked as he stood as well, taking a few steps towards the other. "I'm not saying that you need to get help from me, but I think you should at least talk to _someone_ about it, like a therapist or—"

"I don't. Need. Help." The words came out between gritted teeth as he stared out the window into the relative darkness of the night. Joey was silent for a long while, trying to contrive something that would pierce Seto's stubbornness and make him see sense.

"What about Mokuba?" He finally spoke, a plan forming in his mind. He wasn't even sure he liked it, but he couldn't think of anything else that would work.

"What about him?"

"He doesn't know about any of this, does he?"

"No, and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"Kaiba, if you don't talk to someone about this, then I'll—"

"Then you'll what? Tell him?" Kaiba's voice increased in both volume and aggression, and intermingled was a warning note of danger. "Or would you rather go running to child services to tell _them_ that I'm unstable so that they can declare me an unfit guardian and take him away?" Seto had clearly thought through all the possible consequences far more thoroughly than Joey had. The blond winced at the pain he heard in Kaiba's voice and the fear his anger sought to hide. "That's blackmail." Again, betrayal flashed in his eyes.

"It's what you did to me, Kaiba!" Joey pointed out, starting to get a bit heated. "I didn't want help either, because I was afraid that I'd end up being separated from the only home and friends I've ever known. But you made me accept help and you were right to do so, because who knows how much longer I could have lasted living like that. You saved my life, Kaiba. Let me return the favor."

"Are you saying I'm suicidal?" Despite Seto's harsh, disdainful words, his temper seemed to have cooled down a bit.

"I know you're not," Joey answered calmly, surprising Seto, though it didn't show. "I know you wouldn't leave your brother like that. You love him too much to abandon him."

The two young men stared at each other, each seeing the other in a new light with new eyes. For once, they could stand in each others presence and neither was angry or aggressive or competitive. It took them both several moments to acknowledge and accept the tentative bond of trust they were forming.

"What kind of help did you have in mind?" Seto asked at last, albeit reluctantly.

"To start with, you need a new coping mechanism. Give me your knife." He held out an open hand, half expecting Seto to resist as he noticed his jaw clench.

After a moment, the brunette reached into his pocket and pulled out a switchblade, pressing it int the blond's hand as he said, "You do realize I have the means to acquire another?"

"I know you do," he answered, pocketing the knife without looking at it. "But at least this way, it's not quite so convenient for you." There was an awkward pause. Joey shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered away casually, breaking the awkward tension.

"Try going for a run instead, next time, or something like that. If it doesn't work, or you just wanna talk, find me." He gave Seto a lopsided grin before leaving him to return to his room. It was entirely on Seto now to take action. Joey planned on using Seto's prideful nature to break him of his unhealthy habits. If he relapsed, it would mean that he was weak, and Seto refused to fail any test of strength, whether it was strength of character or physical strength. If there was only one thing that Joey knew about Seto Kaiba, it was that he abhorred failure, especially in himself.


	3. SOS

**Save me from myself...**

Seto made good progress himself over the course of the next six weeks. He didn't open up about his childhood on his own, but if Joey asked specific questions, he found that Seto wouldn't lie to him. He always either told the truth or refused to answer. Joey was careful to keep those conversations brief, few, and far between, wary of touching a nerve and triggering a nervous breakdown—or worse, a relapse. Seto had taken up both running and boxing to cope with his issues and satisfy his need to physically release his feelings. It was better than cutting, for a number of reasons, but Joey noticed how he managed to still make them self-destructive activities. On days that he was especially hard on himself, he boxed without gloves, going hard until his blood stained the punching bag and his hands hurt almost too badly to use. He would run fast and far, not stopping until he physically collapsed and his whole body ached like heck for the next few days. If nothing else, it made him stronger, strong enough that Joey upped his own game; if he didn't, he would no longer be able to hold his own against his friend, which was something he did more for Seto's good than for his own. Seto needed someone to save him from himself.

He did have one relapse, only one, but it had been pretty bad. Joey had gone away for the weekend to visit his mother and sister; he'd told Kaiba a week ahead of time, only deciding to accept his sister's invitation to do so because he was certain that Seto was in a good place, that he'd be alright while Joey was gone. To return to the mansion Sunday night and find that Seto had bled himself to the point of losing consciousness had been quite a shock for the blond teen. When he'd returned to the mansion and immediately learned from Roland that Seto had locked himself alone in his room almost an hour previous, he'd known that it would be bad, but he hadn't expected…

Joey told himself that Seto hadn't meant to bleed this much, that he'd gotten so close to death only by accident. He wouldn't leave Mokuba behind, not like this, he repeated to himself as he stripped himself of his t-shirt and tore it into strips, tightly bandaging the deepest cut on Kaiba's arm, the only one that was still bleeding. He gently propped him up into a sitting position with his back against the wall, then went to the closet and dug out some first-aid supplies so that he could start treating the less serious cuts. As he did so, Seto stirred faintly, but neither spoke nor woke. Joey removed the pair of bloody scissors from Seto's fingers and dropped them into the sink, letting the water run over them and carry the blood down the drain with it. How pathetic: the powerful CEO reduced to such a state where he turned to some dull scissors in his search for some kind of release. What did he actually gain from cutting himself? Joey had never understood that about self-harm, but then again, was he really all that different with his anorexia? He shook that thought out of his mind, filling a tall glass with cold water from the sink and turning around to empty it all at once on Kaiba's head. That woke him up. As he spluttered and struggled to grasp the current situation, Joey knelt down so that he was on the same level as him.

"Why?" Joey demanded, clearly furious. Kaiba's mouth opened and closed, for once at a total loss for words. He tried to look away, but Joey seized his chin between forefinger and thumb and dragged his gaze back to Joey's. "Why, Seto?"

"How would you feel if one of your father's drinking buddies told you that you were just like him?" Joey's anger ebbed as he considered the scenario. He was deep in thought long enough that Seto freed his chin from Joey's hold and brace himself against the wall, attempting to stand.

"Wait, you shouldn't—" Joey sprang to his feet in time to catch him as he collapsed.

As the world around him spun, Seto lost all sense of balance, the spacial disorientation jarring his sense of control. He squeezed his eyes shut, the blurred vision making him nauseous, and held tightly to whatever came to his hands.

"I've got you, Seto, I've got you," Joey murmured, his big brother instincts kicking in as he gently lowered his friend back to the floor. Seto, still panicking from the sense of vertigo, wouldn't let go of him, so Joey simply sat close by and let him hold on, concern consuming his anger. He held up three fingers on one hand and said, "Seto, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Seto opened his eyes slightly and grumbled, "Six," before squeezing them shut again. The vertigo had intensified for those few moments he'd opened his eyes, and he fought to quench the feeling of instability by resting against Joey, trusting him with his weight as his cheek pressed against his tanned, bare chest. He was the only stable thing Seto could cling to.

Joey blushed as Seto pulled him closer, putting his arms loosely around the brunette in a reassuring manner. "You need to get stitches, Seto," Joey said quietly. "Do you want me to call your doctors?"

"Not yet," Seto mumbled, pressing even closer to Joey as he felt himself falling through a black void. He let out a low groan and shivered as a fresh wave of nausea swept over him, a headache beginning to swell behind his temples.

"Tell me what happened, then." Joey hoped that the act of telling a story would help Seto to feel more grounded.

"I had a meeting today, nothing too important, just making some minor contract changes before renewing the agreements with some of our oldest connections." Seto spoke slowly and with difficulty, but persevered through it so that he could justify himself to Joey. "One of the lawyers was an old associate of Gozaburo's. After the meeting, he approached me for some small talk, and we interacted briefly. Before I left, he commented that I had done a good job emulating my step-father, that he'd be proud of me if he were still here."

"Perhaps he didn't know—"

"Mr. Tanaka knew my father quite well; I can still remember the two of them keeping each other's company quite often at those stuffy cocktail parties he would drag me to. He is not deceived as to the kind of man Gozaburo was." Seto choked up and fell silent, Joey's heart aching for him. "Am I really just like him?" Seto's faint, rough voice sounded truly pitiful to Joey's ears, but the question itself was even more so.

"Seto Kaiba, you are a better man than your step-father could ever be. Don't forget that." Seto seemed grateful for the words, judging by the way his tense body relaxed at last in Joey's arms. Joey had to make an effort to smother the urge to kiss Seto's pale forehead and reassure him with more than just words. "Has the vertigo passed yet?"

Seto mumbled a half-intelligible "I don't know."

"Maybe you can try opening your eyes, then," Joey said trying to keep the both of them on task. "Your arm still needs stitches." Seto stirred, moving his left arm experimentally. From what Joey could see, he didn't have any difficulty or pain when he moved it, but the strip of t-shirt tied around the cut was stained bright red just the same. Seto opened his eyes and sat up straight at last, and they released each other reluctantly, both blind to the fact that the other was equally reluctant and for the same reason.

Joey helped Seto stand up, but was pleased that he at least didn't need help walking. He insisted, however, that he stay with Seto until he saw that he was properly patched up and alright, which meant that he would be remaining shirtless for the rest of the evening until he retired to his own bed. As he and Kaiba strode in silence down the hallway towards what Joey had mentally dubbed "the infirmary," he found himself grateful that Mokuba had been put to bed hours ago. It'd be uncomfortable to explain to the child why his older brother was covered in blood and why Joey was shirtless.

Joey had been hoping that this was the extent of Kaiba's troubles, but he was about to discover a whole new side of Seto that he'd never imagined.


	4. Skin & Scars

**His little whispers, "Love me, love me."  
That's all I asked for: "Love me, love me."  
He battered his tiny fists to feel something,  
Wondered what it's like to touch, and feel something.**

Seto was almost back to his normal self, and Joey was almost having a hard time believing that the man who'd been so weak as to be unable to stand, who'd clung to him just to maintain a sense of reality, was now sitting in front of him acting perfectly normal again.

Joey was disturbed as he watched Seto getting stitches without any painkillers or numbing agents. He said that it barely hurt, that he hardly felt a thing. Even the nurse had asked him if he'd taken any kind of medication that day, which he answered honestly and in the negative. Joey believed him, which made this that much more strange. A theory began to swirl around inside his head, but he needed to test it first, which is precisely what he did when he had escorted Seto back to his room afterward. He was too concerned to leave him alone again just yet.

"Seto, can you please close your eyes for a moment and hold out your hands?" he asked, not bothering with a fake excuse for why he should.

Seto raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. "Will I regret doing so?" he asked dubiously.

"Nah, I ain't gonna hurtchya or anything like that. Just trust me." Maybe it was that ignorant accent that made him seem so innocent and harmless, or maybe it was the fact that Joey'd shown himself to be trustworthy up until this point, but something made him close his eyes as Joey had asked.

"Which hand did I touch?" Joey asked after brushing one finger across the back of Kaiba's right hand.

"Neither," Kaiba scoffed, keeping his eyes closed.

"How about this time?" He touched the right hand again, applying slightly more pressure.

"What kind of a game are you playing? Again, neither." Then he felt a faint brush of pressure on the back of his left hand.

"Which hand?"

"The left one." He answered, now scowling.

Joey brushed his fingertips softly across Seto's left hand again after hearing that, reducing the pressure, and got no reaction from him. "Which hand?"

"Neither. Are you done yet?" Seto was getting impatient now, not seeing the point of all this.

"Yeah, you can open your eyes now," Joey said, still resting his fingertips faintly on the back of Seto's right hand. Seto opened his eyes, and only when he _saw_ Joey's hand did he register its presence on his own. He brushed it off with an air of disdain that reminded Joey of the old Kaiba, that is, the facade Joey used to associate with Seto's identity. The one he now understood to be mostly just an act. "I _did_ touch your hand the first time Kaiba, and the other times too," he said quietly, coffee-colored eyes serious.

The young businessman scowled and turned away, strolling towards his closet as he mentally cursed himself for believing that Joey hadn't noticed. It would have been better for Seto if he hadn't noticed, so he'd let himself believe it for as long as possible. Turned out the mutt was more perceptive than he'd given him credit for. As he entered his closet, he stripped off his bloodied shirt and dropped it on the floor, seeking out a fresh one for sleeping in.

He hadn't realized that Joey had followed him. The blond was leaning against the door-frame with his arms crossed over his own bare chest, suppressing a blush as he watched Seto's shirt come off. Damn, why did this stubborn jerk have to be so attractive? The scars his back, neck, and arms bore did nothing to decrease his sexiness. If anything, they added to his handsomeness in Joey's eyes. They were symbols of strength, of survival, of success.

"So you really didn't feel my hand that last time?" he asked, making Seto start and turn around with a look of flustered irritation.

"Do you mind?" the brunette snapped. He fought back the urge to embrace him as much as he fought the urge to force him out of his closet. The two shirtless teens faced each other, both hiding their feelings for one another at all costs.

"Nah, not at all," Joey answered cheekily. "Why'd ya ask? Are ya shy?" he teased. Seto was flustered enough that he didn't have an immediate verbal answer to that, so he turned away before a blush could betray that he was, indeed, somewhat shy. Not getting to interact with many kids his age during adolescence had done that to him. So had his childhood abuse, but Joey didn't seem at all disturbed by Seto's scars, and Seto was too proud to ask him again to leave.

"No, I didn't feel your hand at all," he answered, pulling on a new shirt and hiding his marred skin, which helped to relieve some of the underlying sexual tension in the room, even as Joey watched the way his muscles moved beneath the evenly toned skin.

"But that's… not normal," Joey articulated clumsily, lacking the words and the focus to put together a decent sentence at the moment. "You're not… I mean, you have, uh…"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is _tactile hyposensitivity_ ," Seto interrupted calmly. "And before you ask, yes, I'm aware of it. I've always been aware of it." He walked out of the closet, brushing past Joey without looking at him, afraid that if he looked he'd betray the feelings deep inside his heavily-armored heart.

Joey blinked at him in astonishment. "How… What…" he stammered, wanting to say something, but knowing not what. He turned in the door-frame as he watched Seto stride over to a window and stare into the pristine glass.

"I can't feel physical sensations as easily as other people and I have an unnaturally heightened tolerance for pain. When I was younger, this made Gozaburo hit me that much harder, because that's what it took for him to get the reaction out of me he desired." As Joey walked across the room to join Seto by the window, he thought he could detect a shiver run down his spine. "For the most part, it means that I have difficulty picking up on smaller sensations, and if they're soft enough, I miss them entirely, as you yourself have observed." He cast a sidelong glance at Joey before returning his eyes to the scene outside his window. "That's partly why I've spent so much time improving my virtual reality program over the years. I've managed to make it so that when I'm in the virtual world, I can feel just like any other person." He paused and looked down at his hands for a moment, azure eyes flickering with mixed emotions. "I know what it is that I'm missing out on. I've known for a few years now."

Joey stared at Seto in astonishment. He felt his heart ache for Seto all over again, and he had a hard time keeping his feelings all to himself. However, he had a sneaking suspicion that if he tried to give Kaiba a comforting hug, it wouldn't be returned or appreciated. Seto was sharing something very personal with him, so the least he could do was show him some respect and attempt to understand him. "Does that have anything to do with why you started to cut?" he asked cautiously. "You were… seeking more sensations than you already had because they just weren't enough on their own?"

Seto nodded almost imperceptibly, and he could feel one of the iron shells around his heart break apart, leaving him that much less protected against the charming sensitivity and boy-next-door handsomeness of this particular young man. He finally lifted his eyes to meet Joey's. "I'm not a masochist. I'm just trying to _feel_ ," Seto whispered, something vulnerable in his eyes making Joey believe him without question. "I'm just trying to feel _alive_."

"I suppose it's hard to fault you for that," Joey muttered reluctantly as he reached out with a hand to brush Seto's long bangs away from his eyes on reflex, quickly pulling his hand away as he realized what he'd done. Embarrassed, he too turned to look outside the window. "But don't you think you oughtta find somethin' else to feel so that you're not constantly gettin' hurt?"

"I've tried; nothing else works," he mumbled, looking out the window once more as well with a somber glint in his deep sapphire eyes.

"Have you tried asking anybody for help? Isn't there some kind of cure for this… condition?"

"It's a sensory _disorder_ , and trust me, if there _was_ one, even one that's only in its trial stages of development, I'd do everything I could to get my hands on it. Maybe it's because it's uncommon and relatively harmless, or maybe it's because there's no real way to treat it, but nobody's currently trying to develop a treatment for it."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Joey murmured, not knowing what else to say. "Does Mokuba know?

"Of course not," Seto answered, looking surprised that Joey would even ask such a question. "Why should he? It's not really his concern."

"But he's your brother," Joey pressed. "Shouldn't he know about this kind of stuff?"

"If it were cancer, trust me, he'd know," Seto responded in an almost sarcastic tone, the voice that tended to get under Joey's skin. He knew it, too. He was hoping that he could get the mutt off his back by irritating him so much that he'd just go away. He was feeling much too vulnerable, and he didn't like it one bit, but he'd rather Joey leave on his own than Seto ask him to. Asking him to leave would be an admission of weakness in its own way. "It's really not that big a deal."

"Well, it _is_ a big deal if you bleed out on the bathroom floor!" Joey snapped, raising his voice. "And if that disorder is what's causing you to cut, I would say that it matters more than just a little bit!"

That clinched it. Seto was done baring his soul for the night. "Bad dog. Down boy." He spoke as condescendingly as he could, which was actually quite a lot, and strode away with a smirk as he heard Joey sputtering behind him, too worked up to even get the words out properly. "It's getting late. You should get to your own room, mutt, unless you plan on sleeping here."

"With the way that you've been acting, I've half a mind to do just that!" Joey threatened. "Just to make sure that you don't commit suicide in your sleep and leave Mokuba high and dry." Seto's eyes narrowed; that had been a low blow.

"I told you, I'm not suicidal!" Seto shouted back as he whirled around to face his friend again, the loud burst of genuine fury making Joey waver a bit. He turned his back on Joey, fighting to regain his composure. "Just get out," he growled, eyes fixed on the wall, Joey exiting in silence, leaving Seto alone with his own doubts and fears.

* * *

 _Idiot_ , he chastised himself fiercely as he attempted to sleep. _What did you have to go and tell him all that for? You do realize that he'll never understand, just like everybody else, right? Nobody knows what it's like to touch and not feel, to see that you're holding something, but not be able to map its presence when you close your eyes. He's just going to use it against you now, or worse, tell Yugi and all his other little friends about it. The rumor will be all over school, and when it comes to me, it's a short jump from high-school gossip to tabloid front-pages. You never should have told him anything. Why did you have to be stupid enough to have a crush on him? Idiot. Friggin' idiot._

What made him even angrier with himself was that now he felt tempted to do just that: go back into the bathroom with the scissors and cut himself again until he sank into oblivion. Perhaps it was time he extended his cutting space beyond his arms; they were getting rather full of scars. Wait, wasn't the whole point of Joey's prominent presence in Seto's life: to help him _stop_ cutting? To help him move _past_ the hell Gozaburo had put him through? He sighed, letting most thoughts slip from his mind as he rolled onto his side in an attempt to get more comfortable. Scratching at the bandages that covered his most recent self-imposed punishments and contemplating when he'd repeat the process, if ever, he finally fell asleep.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Lyrics at the top are from the song "Monster" by Meg  & Dia. I thought it to be very fitting for Seto, given the content of this chapter.


	5. Search & Rescue

**Author Notes:** Sorry if this one seems a bit short; I had to cut it off where I did or it would've gotten longer. Enjoy the cliffhanger! Remember: more reviews = faster updates! ;)

* * *

The next day, Joey went to school as usual, the previous night's events nagging at the back of his mind as he went about his daily business: he got a math test back with an A- (the highest grade he'd gotten all school year), ate lunch with Yugi and Tristan and tea (Bakura was mysteriously absent for the fifth time this month), and walked to the nearby middle school to ride home with Mokuba. Once home, it was time to work, and after work he settled down to his schoolwork. He was just wrapping that up when he realized how late it was, his stomach growling loudly as it reminded him to eat dinner. He was on his way to do just that when he was accosted by a troubled looking Mokuba.

"Hey, Joey?"

"Hey pal, what'sa matta?" Joey asked. He truly cared for the kid and found it strange that someone so young looked so distressed.

"It's Seto," he answered with a sigh. "I just got off the phone with his secretary. She says that he's been testing another one of his Virtual Reality games for the past six hours. He does tend to get carried away when he's beta-testing, but she said that he's locked himself in and closed off communications with the outside. He's never done that before, and I'm worried about him. Do you think we could go to KaibaCorp Headquarters and check on him?"

"And by check on him, you mean, bring him home, right?" Joey said with a smile, putting an arm around the child affectionately. "Of course we can. Playing videogames for too long isn't good for anybody."

* * *

Joey felt a little nervous as the Virtual Reality pod activate. He'd only been in Kaiba's Virtual Reality world twice before, and he wasn't keen on being trapped in a computer all over again. Mokuba had assured him that there was no danger of that happening again.

"Whoa!" Joey cried as he landed in a large field, blinking as he accustomed his eyes to the bright sunlight. The warm earth, the cool grass, the soft breeze, the fresh scent of growing things: it all felt so real, it took Joey's breath away.

"Joey, can you hear me?" Mokuba's voice came through the ear-piece Joey then realized he was wearing.

"Yeah, I hear ya, loud and clear!" he answered, holding down the transmission button.

"Good. We dropped you as close as we could to my brother's last registered location in the Virtual World, so it shouldn't take you long to find him. Let me know as soon as you do!"

"Roger that! You can count on me!" Their conversation ended there, and Joey stood up, brushing himself off. He'd only walked a few steps when he was tackled by an enthusiastic dog, one he recognized to be a golden retriever-mix. The dog seemed friendly and harmless enough, so Joey let it accompany him as he went off in search of Kaiba.

It didn't take very long to find him. The massive Blue-Eyes White Dragon was a bit of a giveaway once Joey looked in the right direction. Joey approached Seto quietly, unsure of just what to say. They hadn't spoken since their argument last night, and Joey couldn't help but wonder if Seto was still mad at him.

The placid dragon lay half-curled asleep at the top of a grassy hill, Seto himself seated in the curve of the dragon's body, leaning against the scaly shoulder with his eyes closed and his face relaxed. Joey would have though that he was asleep if it weren't for the fact that he had one hand slowly rubbing the dragon's hide and his other hand tangled with the cool grass. It reminded Joey of another part of their conversation last night. He sat down next to Seto, a mere two feet from his friend, the dog lying on Joey's other side and laying its head in Joey's lap. Seto opened his eyes, but he had yet to even acknowledge Joey's presence.

"I'm sorry about what I said last night," Joey said after a pause, looking down at his hands. "It wasn't okay. I was out of line, Do you think we could, ya know, put it behind us?" A few moments of long silence followed.

"I forgive you," came the quiet answer, surprising Joey. "And I'm sorry for… reacting so badly. You were just trying to help."

"Nah, don't mention it," Joey answered with a grin, feeling a little embarrassed by Seto's words. He dropped his hands to the grass beside him, leaning on his arms a little, noticing after a moment that his hand overlapped with Seto's hand. No sooner had he realized this than he felt the other's fingers twitch and twist, and then—they were holding hands, their fingers interlocked as Seto's thumb brushed over the back of Joey's hand. Joey, blushing, snuck a peak at the CEO's face. He was still staring straight ahead at the gorgeous vista before them. He looked peaceful, calm, almost… happy, his lips curving into the faintest ghost of a smile. It was the closest Joey had ever seen him to expressing pure joy. The sight gave Joey an impulse he didn't care enough to fight.

He leaned in and brushed his lips across Seto's cheek, taking his time as he planted a soft kiss on the porcelain skin. Seto shivered at the feathery-light touch of Joey's lips, like nothing else he'd ever felt before. Joey pulled back, immediately missing the feel of Seto's skin under his lips. He sat back and stared forward as he and Seto had been doing previously.

"You missed."

"Huh?" Joey turned his head to find Seto's face mere inches from his own.

"You missed," he breathed, bringing his lips to Joey's, the kiss starting as an innocent intermingling of breath before Seto decided he craved more. Joey's eyes had closed, letting Seto guide the soft, careful kiss. As Seto leaned over him, Joey attempted to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back, keeping the kiss soft and light. It was kind of sweet, actually, how Seto kept the kiss at such an innocent, exploratory level.

"Joey! Joey, have you found him yet?" As Mokuba's voice yelled into Joey's ear, he pulled back sharply, losing his balance and falling backwards into the grass with a grunt. His face turned red as he reached up to push the transmission button, Seto planting his hands on either side of Joey as he leaned down and smirked at Joey. He'd heard Mokuba's message as well, though he hadn't been surprised by it.

"Yeah, I just found him! We'll be out in a minute, Mokuba!" He did his absolute best to sound totally normal even though Kaiba was kissing his forehead softly, letting his lips trail down to Joey's cheek.

"Thanks a ton, Joey! I owe you one."

"Sure thing, no sweat!"

Joey found himself breathless as he stared up into a pair of sapphire eyes.

"We'll continue this later," he promised, his husky voice tickling Joey's ear as he dipped his head down and gave Joey one last peck before he pixelized and left the virtual world.

Joey took a few moments to calm himself down and straighten himself out. He sat up and watched the dog he'd found lick at the dragon's snout. The dragon snorted and gently nuzzled at the dog in return. Well, at least he'd be leaving them with each other as company. Then he pixelized himself and reentered the real world.


	6. Life Support

**Author Notes:** In the future, I'm going to publish a separate story, tentatively titled "Let Me Keep You," as a sequel to this story. That'll happen when I finish up some of my other stories. The more reviews I get on this, the sooner I'll get to work on the sequel. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!

* * *

On their way home, Seto gave in to Mokuba's request and let them get a take-out pizza for dinner. It was refreshing seeing the powerful CEO eating something as normal as pizza. Joey found it amusing.

When they returned home, it was getting late, and Seto decided to put Mokuba to bed himself. Before he left, though, he whispered in Joey's ear for him to meet him in his room in an hour. Joey's spine tingled and he wondered if he ought to protest, but he simply gave a small nod and went on his way.

* * *

When Joey entered Kaiba's room later, he closed the door behind him, and the instant he did so, Seto was there, grabbing his hand and pulling him further into the dim room. He then grabbed Joey by the front of his shirt and kissed him. This kiss was different from their first, and Joey understood why. In the Virtual World, Seto could feel each subtle touch, each faint collision of skin. Here, the softest contact was lost to him entirely, and he needed more than other people to feel anything at all. That was why he kissed Joey so greedily now, pressing him as close as possible to his own body. Joey put his arms around Seto, hoping that by stroking his back he could help to settle him a bit, get him to slow down. It didn't seem to work, though. He still clawed Joey to himself with enough desperation that Joey was concerned and felt the need to intervene.

He broke the kiss, though Seto was reluctant to do so. "Breathe, Seto, breathe," he whispered, nuzzling into his new lover's cheek. The brunette was impatient, and Joey felt the need to slow him down before something happened they both regretted. Joey slowly pushed the coat off of Seto's shoulders, making him shiver. The coat fell to the floor and Joey reached for Seto's tie, loosening it to the point where he could just pull it off over Seto's head, dropping it so that it joined his suit jacket. At this point, Seto groaned and grabbed Joey's hips, pulling them against his own as his mouth latched onto Joey's neck, sucking and nipping at the skin.

"A-Ah…" Joey groaned, gripping Kaiba's shoulders in his hands as his partner bit into his neck savagely, only to sooth the pain with his tongue. For a moment, Kaiba pulled back a bit, catching his breath. Was that doubt nibbling at the back of his mind?

"This is what you want, yes?" Seto breathed. He needed to be sure, because he cared for Joey, and the last thing he wanted was for Joey to lay with him out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine desire.

"Oh god yes," Joey gasped as he rolled his hips against Seto's, making the brunette clench his jaw and dig his fingernails into Joey's back.

"Mmm." Seto smirked, pleased to hear what he had, tugging Joey's tee-shirt down to reveal his shoulder so that he could nibble on the corded tendons, holding them between his teeth before his lips found their way back to Joey's.

"I must warn you, I am not a gentle lover," Joey whispered as his lips brushed across Seto's cheek. The other moaned softly as his arms around Joey pressed him closer to himself, needing constant stimulation.

"Good," he muttered hoarsely. "You'd be useless to me if you were." He kissed Joey hard again, their tongues meeting between them somewhat aggressively before Seto forced himself to pull back. "I'm not gentle either, Joey," the broken spirit in his arms whispered breathlessly. "I don't know how to be." Joey leaned in and nipped at Seto's ear while his hands kneaded his abdomen through his shirt, pleased that it was enough to make him squirm.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Joey answered simply. It helped Seto to relax a little on the inside; he needn't feel guilty if he was rougher with Joey than he meant to be, because Joey already understood. Perhaps he even liked it rough too. That would certainly work out well for both of them. Seto stripped Joey of his shirt, tossing it to the floor carelessly as he went in for more.

* * *

"I should go back to my room," Joey whispered, still faintly breathless. "I have school tomorrow."

"An' I have work," Seto mumbled half-coherently. "I'll wake you." He muttered something else, possibly about how he got up earlier than him anyways, but Joey wasn't sure.

Joey glanced over at the brunette's face, which looked surprisingly sweet post-coital. His eyes were closed, but Joey wasn't ready to let him sleep just yet.

"Seto, what does this make us?" Joey asked quietly, nudging him a little.

"Whate'er ya wan'," the other muttered back, not even opening his eyes.

"Husbands it is, then," Joey answered facetiously. Seto cracked one eye at him and grunted in vague amusement. Joey chuckled and kissed Seto's forehead. "Okay, then, how about boyfriends?"

"Soun's good." He closed his eye and Joey finally let him sleep, doing the same himself as a smile lit his face.

* * *

The next morning, Joey woke up to faint, pale sunlight streaming through the windows. He checked his watch: it was way earlier than he usually woke up, and he pulled a pillow over his head.

"Don't fall back asleep, Joey. I've already woken you twice now," Seto called from his closet. He stepped out as he tied his royal blue silk tie, and when he'd finished that, he pulled the pillow off of Joey's head and tossed it to the foot of the bed.

"I don't remember that," Joey grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at his tired eyes. Seto chuckled at Joey's bed-head, the way his messy hair stuck up all over the place.

"You need a shower. That's why I woke you up so early."

"And here I thought you just wanted to spend more time with me," Joey responded sarcastically. Seto smirked at that and bent down to place a brief kiss on Joey's forehead before picking up a mug of coffee from the nightstand and pressing it into Joey's hands, a gesture that surprised the blond, who found it touching.

"I trust you to keep this new relationship of ours to yourself," he said as he straightened up and took a sip of his own coffee. Joey's temper flashed for a moment.

"What, are ya' ashamed o' me or somethin'?" he snapped, his brown eyes narrowing.

"No," Seto answered calmly. "But I do hate it when the tabloids pick up on personal details abut my life. They have an absolute field day making a mountain out of a molehill, and 95% of what they publish is misinformation. Trust me, you would hate it just as much as I do if you found yourself in the tabloids." That answer satisfied Joey, for the most part.

"And what about Mokuba?"

"I'll tell him when the time is right," Seto answered, taking his coffee with him as he walked over to his dresser to put on his fancy Rolex watch and pocket his wallet. Joey could still smell his lingering cologne.

"I'll be back later this evening. I have some international conferences calls to make. If you could make sure Mokuba gets to bed on time, that'd be great." He pulled on his dove-gray suit jacket, and Joey found himself feeling very at peace watching Seto get ready for the day. There was something beautiful in the simplicity of the routine.

"Have a good day!" Joey called as Seto walked towards the door.

"You too!" Seto answered over his shoulder before leaving.

* * *

This became their comfortable routine, and although it didn't change Seto's disorder at all, Joey felt like it was helping him to cope better than anything else ever had. The young CEO didn't start out as a very affectionate person, although he certainly felt affection for Joey, but over time his lover taught him how to express those feelings in little ways that he was comfortable with. Some people began to comment that Seto seemed more human than ever before, and Joey couldn't help but feel proud of all that he and Seto had accomplished together. Perhaps the old saying was true: love conquers all.

 **Amor omnia vincit.**


End file.
